Actor Draft - Duggan
I found a picture online with the headline, “Who Would You Bring Back for 1 Final Movie?” followed by pictures of great actors who unfortunately are no longer with us. I found this picture extremely interesting and wanted to put the Going Off Topic spin on it. I came up with the idea of having a “draft” with four friends, each of them writing a blog on it, and then having each of them on the podcast for a more in-depth discussion. The following is Duggan’s blog and make sure to check out the other blogs and podcasts on this topic!
Draft Analysis: What’s up everybody it’s Duggs, your favorite terrible writer, back at it again to play my part in this actors draft. All of the options reminded me of just a taste of the great talent we have lost on screen. All of the actors listed have had a major impact on the media and pop culture we have consumed thus far. Obviously, with the way drafts work, you never know where you will fall in the picking order and who will be left on the board, but I must say I was very satisfied with my picks and I don’t want to say I’d be able to possibly create the best movie ever with them but….let’s just see what happens and you can decide for yourself.
POWER RANKINGS:
Heath Ledger
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Robin Williams
Bernie Mac
Chris Farley
Paul Walker
Bruce Lee
Alan Rickman
Patrick Swayze
Michael Clarke Duncan
John Belushi
Marilyn Monroe
James Dean
Audrey Hepburn
Brittany Murphy
Paul Walker:
I can’t lie, my first pick wasn’t who I had my initial sights on. I had the third pick and was locked in on Heath Ledger. Who are you bringing back for another movie first? Heath. Come on. I won’t say any names, but I left him on the board for another writer in this series(ELLEN and she didn’t even get him…..). Either way, I ended up going with the homie Paul Walker and I’m not mad at all about it. Would I bring Paul back? Of course! To start with, the guy just looks like a movie star. Blonde hair and blue eyes with a perfect tanned smile I’d kill for. Sure, his actual acting wouldn’t be the best, but does it need to be? The 10 million Fast & Furious movies would say no. Actually, all of Paul’s movies would say no, but the point is that if you need a leading front man who you’re not worried about line delivery with, Paul is your man. The dude liked going fast, getting the babe, and was always more than happy to rip his shirt off in the ocean if the script asked for it. RIP Paul. We miss ya brah.
Bruce Lee:
By the time my second pic came around I felt like there was only one pick to make. Bruce Lee. Growing up I was raised on old corny action flicks and super old dubbed Kung-Fu movies. Still to this day I have a true love and bromance for Jackie Chan, but all of that started with Bruce Lee. First of all, Bruce was jacked. Bruce was the kind of guy you see walking down the street and you’re like, eh looks like a normal good looking dude, but as soon as it gets real and he rips that shirt off, you immediately know you’re in serious trouble. Not to mention when he starts breathing all crazy and screaming and shit. That’s the kind of pure intimidation only professionals use and my guy Bruce was the best at it. On top of all that there are so many conspiracy theories surrounding Bruce and his untimely death. A quick google search will explain what I mean, but the most popular theory being that he was tied in with the Chinese Triads. Legend. So why cast Bruce in my comeback movie? Why wouldn’t you? I shouldn’t have to explain why I would want a new solo Bruce Lee movie. You know exactly what you would get so that should be self-explanatory. As far as the movie I’m putting together with all of my picks, we’ve already established that Paul Walker is my leading man, but he needs a best friend on screen. I can already see some shirtless workout scenes where Bruce is showing Paul his way around the gym and then cutting to a shirtless surfing scene where Paul is showing Bruce the way of the beach life. Bruce would provide the muscle needed to back up Paul’s investigative adventures by perfectly executing the bound-to-happen fight scenes. I mean the dude did like 600 sit-ups a day. I want him on my squad. RIP Mr. Lee.
Patrick Swayze:
Last but not least it was time to pick my third co-star. The board was pretty empty, but the choice was pretty simple for me. Patrick Swayze. Pat’s peak was a little before my time, but show me one person who doesn’t know the name. Seriously, is there anyone? Well, since we are all on the same page I don’t think I need to go into much detail about his career. To keep it simple, he played a great hard ass that would steal your girl just by looking at her. If he felt the need to talk, his smooth line delivery would sweep her off her feet and if he still didn’t feel like talking, he would seal the deal with some amazing hip-moving dancing. Legend. Why pick him as my #3? Unlike my previous two picks, Pat can spread out his role type from action star to dancer to rom-com leading man. My thinking is that Pat is the dude that is going to keep the acting level up. A film with Paul Walker and Bruce Lee could easily have a word count under 500, but Pat is going to be there to hold up the other half of the scene/story with quality lines that will make you say, “Damn that dude is cool.” He could also be used for a few different roles alongside those two. First of all, an older Pat Swayze could work perfectly as Paul Walker’s cool ass dad. Just think about that for a minute. Also, he could easily play the cool ass bad guy that Paul is after. Personally, I love the idea of Pat just living life as a chill crime boss. One you think is all about his outside appearance, and possibly soft, until the time comes when you see him brutally beat up a crowd of people without breaking a sweat. I might even add in that after every kill he does a legit victory dance, kind of like Fortnite kill victory dance these days. Damn, what could’ve been. RIP cool bad guy, Pat.
Movie Pitch, You Got Surfed:
So, we now have our trio set for the new film, but what would the plot be. Without thinking too much about it, a couple ideas pop out to me right away. Alright, bear with me. What about a meta film that centers around both their real lives and acting roles prior to death. A story where Bruce Lee becomes too entwined with the Chinese Triads because of his exploding popularity due to not his movie career, but to his unbeatable underground Kung-Fu career. Bruce Lee doesn’t want to fight and possibly kill, but he has to in order to support his newly growing family. The Triads begin to sponsor Bruce in hopes to control the underground Kung-Fu gambling market, but Bruce soon becomes worried for his family’s safety and rounds them up for an immediate escape to the U.S., specifically Los Angeles. The problem is the Triads can’t let Bruce go to the U.S. and potentially give up the secret of their illegal underground Kung-Fu scene he just ran away from.
Soon after arriving in LA Paul Walker is chilling at the beach with his shirt off because, of course he is. He sees Bruce with his fam at the beach having a great time, which brings a hearty smile to Paul’s face. He loves witnessing people enjoy the beach life. While looking around he notices some sketchy Asian mob-looking guys tatted from head to toe following Bruce and his family. Paul quickly realizes something is not right and without knowing Bruce, he casually talks him and his fam to come hang out with him in his surf shop. As soon as they get to the surf shop craziness ensues, confirming Paul’s almost always correct assumption, as the mobsters try to kill everyone there. Luckily for the Lee family, Paul walker has his souped up street car parked out back and they are able to escape thanks to Paul’s perfectly timed pre-planning, his unbelievable ability to drift around every corner, and his constantly filled tank of NOS.
Since Paul saved Bruce and his family’s life they naturally become best friends. We then find out why Paul was able to sniff that whole scenario out, and that is because he has been working as an undercover cop for the past 5 years, posing as his natural surfer self. Paul has been undercover trying to build up a case on one of the most notorious crime bosses in California, Patrick Swayze. Pat’s crime empire of illegal underground dancing competitions has profited so much that he is now looking to expand over the ocean outside of the United States. Think of an underground casino, but instead of casino games it is just different high stakes dancing competitions. Very creative, but very illegal. Also, Paul Walker HATES dancing.
As the movie carries on and Paul and Bruce learn more about each other, we come to realize that their paths might have crossed anyway. We learn that the expansion Pat Swayze was looking for outside of the US was a direct connection through the Chinese Triads. This would be a perfect collaboration because of the Triad’s complete control of the Kung-Fu market. Underground Kung-Fu and dancing, all in the same place. The thought of that makes Paul and Bruce just plain sick. If that combination was to happen, who knows what other great activities would be taken to the illegal underground and away from mainstream life? Paul and Bruce can’t take the chance.
Through great car scenes, quickly edited Kung-Fu scenes, and extremely slow motion dance scenes, we see how this whole story plays out. The good guys save the day by incorporating Paul’s beach life knowledge and Bruce’s Kung-Fu skills. Still with all that, Pat Swayze is somehow able to flee to some unknown island forcing Paul and Bruce to continue looking for him in next year’s sequel. While looking for Pat’s cool, but sneaky ass, they also are constantly looking out for the ever growing Triads. It is safe to say they were not happy with the recent disruption of their new underground activities. They also decide that this journey has formed a best friend bond that cannot be broken and begin going by the name combination of Pruce (Paul+Bruce). The movie ends with a mid-surf high five and we finally see the movie title, “You Got Surfed”.